Engagement over the holidays

Have you just become engaged over the holidays? Congratulations - it's an exciting time! But you're probably already learning that it doesn't take long for the first stresses about wedding planning to appear. As observed by William Doherty, who co-wrote Take Back Your Wedding with his daughter, the pure elation of a new engagement can last for as little as fifteen minutes. As soon as you share the news with family members, the questions begin: When will you have the wedding? Where will it be? How large will it be? Who will pay for it? etc., etc.


And after the initial questions, the differing ideas, opinions and conflicts emerge. You're dealing not only with your family but with your fiance's as well. You've waited a long time to enjoy planning this special event, just the way you envision it, and now you have so many other people to consider. In the coming months, you will share some special moments with these people and will likely become frustrated and aggravated by them. You will get to know a lot more about all of them, for better or worse. You will also learn more about your fiance, your relationship and about yourself.


This is an important time in your life, not only because you are planning a big event, but because it is the start of planning your marriage together. If you use the time well, you can grow in your relationships, ability to handle stress and sense of accomplishment. In my counseling practice over the years, I have witnessed both wonderfully positive and disastrously negative things occur over the course of wedding planning. A few of the stories are outlined on my website, smoothrelations.com. Feel free to add some of your own here so others can benefit. Enjoy your engagement and consider it a great learning opportunity!